Take a look in the mirror, are you the person you want to be? Are you happy with how you’ve been living? When your head hits the pillow at night, do you and your thoughts get along? It’s the easiest thing in the world to distract yourself, to let life pass you by. If you’re anything like me, you’ll often find yourself wondering what the hell you’re doing. In becoming a creature of habit, living in fear of the unknown, you allow mundanity to slowly suck the soul out of your body. In order to break the cycle, we have to choose ourselves.
I can’t exactly say what made me hit my breaking point, or if it was some divine form of intervention begging me to change course. What I do know is, one morning I woke up and decided to change my life for the better. For years, I have kept my creativity at bay, suppressed by the endless chaos that I allowed to overcome me. Forgotten were my true passions, overshadowed by the need to pay the bills. Why exactly has keeping a job that makes you miserable become the standard for living in our society? Why is it so hard to take the first steps towards following your dreams?
Fear. Arguably one of the most powerful forces working against us. Although a lot of the time it may be rational, what the hell is the point of being afraid? We as a society have become so accustomed to the stability of a routine, that we forget that there can be so much more to life. The inherent fear of judgment and ridicule can be crippling to those who want more for themselves. It took me an exorbitant amount of time to figure out that at the end of the day, the only one who has to be happy for you, is YOU. Oftentimes, when you begin to do what’s best for you, the right people will follow.
Do you have a dream that you’ve been sweeping to the side? Are you afraid of what may happen if you put yourself out there? So was I. I’m not going to lie to you, a lot of things are about to change. You’re going to find out exactly who your real friends are. You’re going to spend nights wondering whether you’re making the right decision or not. Hey, if it’s not going to be difficult, it’s not worth it at the end of the day. You may even feel like everything is falling apart for a while. Everything may actually fall apart. However, I can promise you that being happy and believing in the work you do, is far more important than anything else in this life.
If you don’t choose to commit to yourself and your happiness, what is your endgame? Look around, are you at peace with what your life looks like? Do you constantly wonder; “what if?” The most difficult part of choosing yourself, is taking the first step towards betterment. The first step may look different for everybody who chooses to take it. I took pen to paper and began to write again. My whole life, I’ve questioned what my purpose was on this earth. Having a conversation with yourself, deciding who you’re going to be…. that’s the first step. I wasn’t sure of what my next move was, but I knew something had to change. I knew that ultimately I am the one who gets to decide what my life will be, and I’m the one who controls my happiness. For me, I knew I had to act now, or else I never would.
Breaking down to build yourself back up, that’s often what it takes to climb the ladder towards your goals. It can be a humbling and beautiful experience, yet can feel like the lowest point in your life. Confusion, anger, sadness and loneliness, become friends as you let go of the person you used to be - of the life you used to inhabit. Rejection becomes a constant, repeating itself until you get that first break. If you want something bad enough, your passion and energy will see you through. A year ago today, I was a clerk at a grocery store. Today, I’m a published and employed writer, constantly seeking more opportunities in my passion. If you have a vision for what your life should be, take the first step and choose yourself. In choosing yourself, you’ll find that others will choose you too. You’ll find that only now, are you discovering who you truly are. Commit to yourself. Love yourself. Choose Yourself. Look in the mirror and know that you are doing everything in your power to become who you are meant to be.
Abbey Brown is a 21 year-old New York-based conversationalist creative writer who’s incredibly passionate about all things self-discovery and actualization. Driven by her desire to inspire, Abbey’s storytelling seeks to touch your soul. Follow her journey to find herself on Instagram – @abbsbrown